25 Stories in a NonDouche Bag Jar
by thecanadian13
Summary: 25 different, unconnected stories whose POV, character SHIP, and setting/scene are chosen at random out of a jar. Mainly Jess/Nick. Some Cece/Schmidt, Schmidt/OC and Winston/OC.
1. Chocolate

25 Stories in a Non-douche Bag Jar

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><p>-Based on SSJL's idea (from Whose Line is it Anyway)<p>

-25 different, unconnected stories whose POV, character SHIP, and setting/scene are chosen at random out of a jar (slightly different than SSJL's). No two stories can be alike and the setting/scenes are only used once.

-POV's: 1st: Jess, Cece, Nick, Schmidt, Winston and Julia. 3rd: omniscient.

-SHIP's: Jess/Nick, Cece/Schmidt, Schmidt/OC, Winston/OC. (Mainly Nick/Jess)

-Settings/Scene prompts:

Chocolate

Cell Phone

Sale

Office

Simple things

Panic

A letter

First impression

Hospital

Leave

Bathroom cleaning

Elevator

Public restroom

Play Ground

Car

Hold your breathe

Pool

Frat house

High school

Tropical mist

Broadway musical

Water fountain

Special K

Stairs

Monsters under the bed

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><p><em>#1 Chocolate: WinstonOC: Nick 1st Person_

_I was expecting to come home to an empty pizza box or at least a few beer bottles with that little bit of wasted liquid at the bottom due to laziness of not wanting to wait for those last few drops, but instead there was nothing. _

_Correction, there was a wrapper, a chocolate bar wrapper. It wasn't even a Hershey's or a Nestlé bar, but some foreign country maker whose language I didn't even recognize. There was a lot of animated pictures on the outside and multiple layers to the packaging. I wouldn't of even known what it was if it weren't for the only bit of translated English on the wrapper that wrote 'chocolate with toffee pieces'. _

_I assumed at first that Winston and his date had indeed gone out for dinner or a movie and that Winston simply ate a snack prior. But adding in his current financial situation and his shoes that were still hanging on the rack from two days ago didn't amount to my perceived outcome. _

_At first I almost came to his door to knock, but then the possibility of him being with the girl in there came out to be the same odds as him not; to which odds I don't prefer. The thought of having another 'naked' situation also seemed grim. _

_"Winston?" I called instead. There was no answer, just the ruffling of sheets from the other side. I scoffed and went to turn away when the door cracked open slightly and Winston's head poked through the darkness._

_"Yeah?" He asked slightly groggy eyed._

_"I was just uh, wondering if you went out last night." I cringed as I produced the last words. Why do I care what he does? It's none of my business. He probably won't even tell me._

_"Oh." He seemed oddly relieved. "Nancy and I had a night in. She came over, we watched Taken, had some of her delicious European chocolate. It was like heaven in a colorful wrapper by the way, then she went home."_

_"Mhm." I replied, slightly skeptic on the last part of his story. There were plenty reasons why he wouldn't just open the door up all the way. He could be housing a fugitive, a stolen baby panda from the zoo or he could be playing his own Jamaican music, but something told me that there was more to it than that. _

_ I left him in p__eace for the remainder of the morning, but kept an eye on his door. Finally around noon, I couldn't keep occupied with the drama of his life, so I slipped out of the apartment to pick up some groceries and run errands. When I returned, Winston was gone, 'Out at a job interview' and his room empty and spotless. The bed was made and there were no loose articles of clothing hanging around besides his jeans on the back of his bed. I felt weird for snooping, but his whole story about last night seemed peculiar and with Julia at work a lot and Schmidt and Jess busy with their lives a well, things were pretty boring during the week. _

_Just as I had decided to leave his room and make myself a snack, I spotted another chocolate bar wrapper sitting on his bed side table. True, he could have gotten an extra one to eat later from her or she could have just left it there while touring the apartment, but the smile of satisfaction of knowing Winston was back in the game was all I needed to not care anymore about that funky chocolate bar wrapper I found on the kitchen counter this morning._


	2. Monsters Under the Bed

#2 Monsters under the bed: Schmidt/OC: Winston 1st Person

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><p>"I swear it was just a harmless monster!" Schmidt blatantly lied. I could see right through his horrible lie.<p>

"Okay man. So you wouldn't mind if I checked to see if the monster was gone yet?" I asked trying to catch him in his web of lies.

"I am sure it's gone," he waved me off. "I got this!" He screamed in a high pitch voice as his eyes darted from me to his bed.

"That's great." I said sort of sarcastically as I made my way over the his bed.

He put his arms up trying to block me, but I quickly ducked under his pale little arms and plopped myself on top of his bed.

"Come on," he whined. "I just made my bed. Look! You see all those creases."

I shook my head at his metrosexuality and ignored his complaints.

"Get down man. Please?" His uneasiness satisfied me as I decided to take it up a notch. Almost falling down the first time due to his TempurPedic mattress, I finally steadied myself and stood up, bouncing up and down.

This apparently pushed him over the edge and he took this as his chance to pull me down. I couldn't help but laugh as his eyes made worried looks to the bed again.

"So you gonna tell me what you have hiding under there?" I was going to check anyway, even if he said no.

Defeated he scoffed at me and reached under the bed pulling out a small beige dog. I was totally shocked.

"Please tell me you're not into beastiality man." I stated.

"What!" He shielded the dog with his arms and walked out. "Why would you ever think that?"

"I'm not deaf Schmidt. I heard you with someone last night."

"Was is the key word," He replied. "Then I found out halfway through that this cute, innocent dog she had with her was going to the pound after our night of... Never mind, she just had it to win over guys. So cruel!"

I stood with my mouth hanging open. The scene in front of me was as far from believable as possible, yet I completely trusted him.

"Yeah. Okay man. You save that dog."

He seemed please with my response and misinterpreted it as a challenge.

"I will save him!" He replied walking into the living room with the dog as it barked softly.

"Where are you going Schmidt?" I asked when his shoes were on his feet.

"We're going out for a walk." He replied slipping out the door.

"Schmidt!" I tried calling after him. "Schmidt, you need a leash! You need a leash- never mind."


	3. Special K

Special K: Jess/Nick: 1st person (Julia)

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><p>I can't let personal problems interfere with my work life, but it has been bothering me all day. It didn't take long for the nail biting stress and frequent errands around the office to cause me to end up eating the whole box. It wasn't stale yet, reminding me of how soon we had just broken up, but clearly untouched since then.<p>

I had come over, he had called. I left a few things at his place and wanted to pick them up soon. There was no confrontation since he wasn't home. Jess had answered the door in her pajamas still. It was already 7:30 am! When I looked around trying to find the box of my stuff he told me about, Jess had gone back to eating her sugary kids cereal whilst playing the games on the back of the box and, well, that's when I noticed it. Of course I thought it was empty. Why would a full box of cereal be sitting in the trash if it wasn't. But as I inconspicuously bumped into it on the way to the living room, I couldn't help but notice it's weight and lack of movement in the trash. So on my way back to Nick's room, I picked it up and looked inside. It was nearly 3/4 full. 12 ounces of Special K going to waste.

This brings me back to my office where that box now sits empty in the bin beside me as I can't seem to focus on anything of real value. I turn back to the sheet in front of me. Twenty phone numbers belonging to the most annoying, ignorant and appalling human beings that I unfortunately must stay in contact with for my current case.

_Dennis Howling: 310-555-2090_

Ringing. Ringing. I hang up. Crap! I can't do this. By now I know it's more than him just throwing out my cereal. It should be normal. Guy dates girl that eats a certain food. Guy and girl break up. Guy gets rid of ex-girlfriend's food. But something just isn't sitting well with me. First off, Nick ate the cereal too. Not just when I was there either. Sometimes I'd come back and find it emptier than it was the last time I stayed the night. I know Jess never ate any because she wouldn't touch anything that healthy. Schmidt likes this weird organic crap and Winston just doesn't eat cereal on a regular basis. Thus, concluding my logical analysis that Nick genuinely liked it as well. Which makes me wonder why he'd just go ahead and throw it out. Could it be so personal , so much of a reminder of me that he couldn't bare seeing it in his cupboard?

I call up what's his face again and this time it rings all the way to voice mail. I feel stupid. The next name on my list looks worse than the last so I bury the paper in my desk hoping it won't tempt me any longer. I can't stay focused with this cereal dilemma on my mind.

I pick up the phone again, this time dialing a number from my recent memory and Nick answers immediately.

"Hello?" He says, there are sounds of people talking in the background; loudly. It distracts me, but I choose to ignore it.

"Hey Nick, it's Julia. I-" He interrupts me before I get the chance to talk.

"Did you get your box of stuff? I left it right outside the door to the apartment."

I mentally face palm myself before returning to my original intent of the phone call. "No, but I actually have a question for you."

"He pauses for second as if debating and then responds, "Go ahead..."

"What do you think of when you hear Special K?"

"Uh cereal." He isn't following so I get right to the point. "Does Special K remind you of me?"

He chuckles lightly. "No. Why?"

It's my turn to pause. Do I keep up this conversation or end it with my sanity still intact. "You bought the Special K cereal just for me and I was curious if it reminds you of me." Audios sanity!

He laughs again. I feel like an idiot. "No, Julia. I don't think of you when I hear Special K. Truthfully, it was a minute detail and I know many people that eat it as well. If you ate some of the stuff Schmidt consumes, then I think I'd remember you by that." He is getting a real rouse out of this conversation, so I end it abruptly.

"Well thanks Nick. I will pick up my box tomorrow."

I feel at rest for now, but the moment I head back to Nick's tomorrow, I just know it will be bothering me. Maybe I can ask him in person since I am already in deep with this weird topic.

I go later the next day; late enough that he might be home. Unfortunately it's just Jess and Winston this time, but I figure they are just as good. They know Nick pretty well.

I approach Jess first since she looks the least busy. "Hey Jess, can I ask you something?"

She looks up from her papers she has been grading and gives me those big puppy dog eyes. "Sure," she responds with a weird inflection in her voice.

"Do you know why Nick threw out my Special K cereal? I was just curious."

She looks around for a second and shrugs. "I wasn't aware that he did, but he asked me the other day if I would eat it and I truthfully answered 'no'. Besides that, I don't know how else I can help you." She turns back to the messy, grease stained elementary school work sheets as I head off to visit Winston.

When I peer into his room, he doesn't look as happy to see me as Jess did however. He gives me this weird look with his lips twitching on an angle and I am just about to walk out when he stops me.

"Do you need something Julia?"

He stands up after his inquiry and walks out into the kitchen, just out of ear-shot for Jess. I decide that the Special K topic is pointless now and come up with a random question on the spot as to not look awkward. "So how is Nick doing? I was just swinging by to pick up my stuff."

Winston looks down at my empty hands, but answers none the less. "He's fine." He pauses for a second before conspicuously smiling this evil little grin. "He has actually been seeing someone new. She spends so much time here and absolutely hates Special K." Jess coughs lightly and Winston turns his attention toward her for a second, his smiling growing wider.

Crap, he overheard!_ I can't believe how messy the situation has gotten_, I tell myself. Gulping rather loudly, I nod like a complete moron and turn towards the door. Jess waves good bye and I smile weakly at her affection.

Once outside their apartment, I look down and notice the half full box by the door. Sliding down the wall until my knees are up to my chin, I bury my face in my hands and breathe in and out slowly. _Nick has moved on. That is great for him. _ I want to cry, though I am not entirely sure of why. When I thought he was seeing other people as well as me, it bothered me quite a bit, but more so because I initially lied to him as well. But now that we have broken up- now that I have dumped him- knowing he is dating exclusively again drives me crazy. This prior fact however does not add up in my brain. _Is it him dating others or is it him dating a certain someone that is really making me uneasy? _

I cope with the news slowly. I gather the facts. Winston looking over at Jess at the mention of seeing someone else. The mystery girl being over here so much must mean she lives here and I could tell, especially when we started going out, that there was something between Nick and her. _Did he want our break up to happen. Was he giving me hints with all those voice mails? _

There is just too much evidence pointing towards the obvious and I still feel unsteady about my current visit so I stand up and knock again. Jess answers thankfully, but the face she gives me isn't as welcoming. Clearly I have over stayed my visit.

"Do you need something else Julia? Want to ransack my trash again?" There is a tinge of sarcasm laced into her words and those big eyes are heavy on my thoughts.

"I- I just wanted to say good luck to you and Nick and that your relationship runs smoothly."

She stares at me now, totally dumbfounded as if her precious check books with baby farm animals on it has just been thrown under a bus.

"I do too." She says slowly before looking away from the door and mouthing incoherent words in another direction. "I really hope he is just as good in bed the 5th time as he was the fourth."

I nod slowly again, shocked at her sudden change in attitude before she waves good bye a second time and closes the door.

The elevator doors are opening as I hear her voice shouting inaudible words from inside her apartment. Clearly I have missed something, but what else is new?


	4. Water Fountain

Water Fountain: Jess and Nick: 1st person Jess

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><p>"Do you have any spare change Nick?" I asked as my brown locks hovered over the coin reflecting water.<p>

"Nah." Nick replied, checking his phone for any missed calls or texts he might have received after our afternoon movie. Nick owed me after I helped him with his break-up with Julia and I decided that an evening show would have too many expectations, so a matinée it would be. Of course that wasn't what I said to Nick; told him afternoon showings were cheaper and I was tight on money (which is actually somewhat true).

So when I asked him outside of the theater as we both lazed around the nice scenery and fifteen foot fountain, he dug his hands into both pockets and finally drew out a nice shiny dime.

I approached the edge, my blue and yellow polka dotted skirt skimming the side of the concrete on the fountain, as I turned the coin around in my hand. I could sense that Nick found this somewhat stupid, but I figured a good wish couldn't hurt.

"Jess, you're just wasting my money." He complained within seconds.

"It's just ten cents Nick." I turned around and put my hand on his shoulder, quickly releasing it after his eyes darted toward it. "Just deal with it Nick. I like wishing upon a coin." I smiled my happy little smile that always worked on his gullible self and then tossed the shiny piece over my head and closed my eyes as I heard the plop of it hitting the water.

I stood there with my eyes closed for what seemed like an eternity. There was just the sound of cars from a parking lot twenty feet away, the running of the fountain water and Nick's huffing and puffing. And in that rather uneventful moment, I sort of had an idea of what to wish for.

"Jess," his voice had that low inflection. "How long does it take?"

I smiled to myself, but didn't reopen my eyes just yet.

"It takes a while to come up with a worthwhile wish." I said rather matter of fact.

"Well unless it's a wish to get my money back, I'd like to know what was so special."

"I can't tell you what I wished for till it happens." I opened my eyes and smacked him on the arm with my small clutch. He gave me that pretend 'ouch' face and I couldn't help but giggle after as he made a funny face.

"Don't hate on my ways Nick. They work."

"Oh really," he mocked me. He took a penny out and threw it in the water rather half-assed before screaming, "I want a miniature pony to come galloping up on a rainbow!" He looked around like he was actually hoping for it to happen and then shook his head rather proudly.

"You did it wrong Nick." I said voluntarily reaching my hand into his pocket and feeling around for change. He obviously freaked out; something about personal space and invasion of privacy.

"Look," I handed him another dime. "Throw it in. Close your eyes. And in your head, wish for something not as immediate or fake as before."

He smiled at the ground rolling his eyes. "You know what Jess, I will."

"Good," I replied stepping back and letting him toss away. He shook his head at first before giving the coin a little chuck into the air before it made a miniscule splash.

"Eyes." I reminded him before he closed them with a smirk on his face.

As I watched him there, standing before the fountain, I thought to myself how much of a genius I was without even realizing it. He was still making huffing noises at how ridiculous wishing on a dime was, but he looked happy and best of all, his eyes were closed.

By the time he turned around I was just inches from him; both nervous and excited. He gave me this odd and shocked face before cupping my face and kissing me for about eight seconds; I counted. When we stepped back from each other, both looking for the reaction from the other person to see whether to continue the kissing or stop, he gave me this little smile that just meant everything I needed know, but apparently he was curious.

"So what did you wish for? This kiss with me?" He sounded cocky, but then again, I was too.

"Just the opportunity." I replied slyly even though it was the complete truth.

"If you ask me," he started before putting his arm around my back. "You didn't need to wish on a dime to get that."

I blushed. "By the way, what did you wish for." I had caught him on the flip side.

"I can't tell _you._" He said making a weird inflection on the last word. "It hasn't happened yet."

"Is it about me?" I asked curiously.

He shrugged. I did too before kissing him hard again, this time with tongue.

"How about now?" I asked him just as cocky as he was earlier. "Now?" ...

"Now?" ...

"Now?"

"Jess!" He screamed in protest. "We're outside a movie theater."

"You're such a ruin-er of fun."

"No, I am just not a big fan of PDA." He said standing his ground.

"And the first three "now's" weren't PDA?" I questioned in a witty tone as I strolled away from the fountain feeling pretty badass and not to mention, twirly.


End file.
